One of the Positives in the Pandemic

With some reflection, there are actually quite a few positives from this pandemic. This does not erase of the incredible loss, loneliness or sorrow but without the pandemic, I am not sure we would have figured out the vision issues for our youngest.

Fully remote learning meant I was on 100% of the time. The second half of second grade was excruciating. Every lesson, on paper or the computer, took forever. Meltdowns were a daily occurrence and often were multiple times a day. Another response was just shutting down. I am still not sure which was more difficult. At first, I thought it was defiance and a reaction to the pandemic. But then it became clear that there was something else going on. There were plenty of days that we just stopped and held each other. I think we were equally at a loss, trying to do our best and unable to figure out the barriers. In reality, this started long before the pandemic. Half way through first grade, my very happy, kind hearted kid started telling me she hated school…at least daily. Second grade was a little better but not without a lot of effort from her teacher and coaxing at home.

The teacher was kind and supportive and I am so thankful for his loving my kid. She at least felt safe in his classroom. He had already tried all sorts of tools, from the stand up desk to a special cushion in the first semester.  Now fully at home, I realized there might be something going on with vision but found no relief with a bigger computer screen. It was very confusing because we had already gone the route of getting a good eye doctor and getting a good pair of glasses. I realized the best behavioral results were when school work was done on the iPad. It had good resolution could also be held a little closer.

Good or bad, as a Lyme mom, I tend to Google things to see if there is any connection with Lyme. I know I had already done this with both of my kids needing glasses but I started to dig a little deeper. I also contacted the nurse practitioner that holistically treats pediatric Lyme. She put us in touch with Dr. Fox and his vision therapy team in Latham. I will never forget calling Dr. Fox’s office and begging to be added to a waiting list for new patients. I described what was going on and my concern for what third grade would bring. They were so understanding. After my description of what had been going on and sharing that she was exposed to Lyme  in utero, they suggested their services may be a good fit. They actually work with a lot of people that have or had Lyme. They called us about two weeks later to schedule her first appointment for the first week they reopened and I will be forever grateful.

On the first visit, the doctor did an initial round of testing and then had us come back for a second series to get a more detailed analysis of her vision. The process is too much for one visit, especially for kids. The results brought such mixed feelings. I was so pleased to finally have some answers but I felt so guilty for not having seen it before. I had done a fair share of unnecessary yelling some days. She hadn’t had the words to explain her vision issues because that is all she ever knew. She could only see about a six inch circle in front of her. She could not focus any peripheral vision. We learned that focus and tracking were an enormous challenge and her level was well below her age at that time. It became clear why she always appeared to be looking around and not paying attention. She had to piece all the different pieces of the puzzle together in her mind to get a bigger image. No wonder she never had the foot position in ballet if she had the correct arm position and vice versa. No wonder she hated to read out loud. The “Ahas” still keep coming and I continue to realize what an amazing human she is. When I told her how sorry I was for not knowing and for yelling, this beautiful kid said “it’s okay, mom.”

I was eager to share the eye exam results with her second grade teacher in the last week of school. He was so relieved we found answers and was eager to read the report. I should also note that our school system is great but the laws are such that if the child is not failing then there is not really a lot that can be done. So I chose not to fight for services.  (Honestly, no one at the school needed any extra work during the pandemic, and I didn’t have it in me either.)

Once the report was complete, a 9 month, weekly therapy plan was put into place. It also included daily home exercises, just like going to physical therapy. The relationship of vision to core strength and balance is remarkable. The first week included reading the Hart Chart which is a series of 8 letters across and 10 rows down. It was so difficult for her to read across the line with accuracy and it took a while to get through the chart. One of the other exercises was laying on the floor with arms and legs spread out in an X. Then she would curl up in a ball (trying to not falling over to the left or right) and then finally doing “dead bug” pose with arms and legs straight up in the air in a crunch position before falling back to the X position. The first time she tried to make a ball, she immediately fell over. It then occurred to me that her frequent bruises and tripping were all tied to vision. She also had to do a lot of reading out loud using different lenses to simulate changing from the board to the book in a classroom. The exercises changed every two weeks and she kept a sticker chart for the days she did the exercises. Some were difficult but some were fun! The vision therapy team really has a good balance to keep the kids engaged.

My kid worked incredibly hard and I am really proud of her. She spent at least 20-30 minutes almost every day doing her exercises for a solid 9 months. Some nights she would get really tired trying to master the exercises. We drove an hour to Latham and another back home every week. We were lucky that the first couple of months were during the summer so she was able to get a number of weeks under her belt before starting school in the fall. Once the teachers learned there was an issue with vision, they were wonderful about making accommodations such as font size and desk location. Since we were home a lot of the time, I also realized the Chrome Book screen was not going to work for her so we got a bigger screen. It let her see her teacher and classmates’ faces so she was able to engage more.  The larger screen worked even better once I realized the cursor was a big issue. I found the cursor settings could be adjusted and it really made a big difference in her ability to manipulate the educational apps she had for school.

We went from fits of despair over online educational apps like Lexia to something pretty close to enjoying it. Not only did she work hard on the vision therapy, she put an enormous amount of effort in her school work and she is making enormous strides academically. She discovered the feeling of pride with great results on a spelling quiz and a math quiz. Her success obviously felt good to her and she just beamed when she shared them with us. It motivated her to keep trying instead of the past reaction of shutting down.

Because of vision therapy, she has become more confident in her academics, she is able to focus on her work, and can sit still long enough to get her work done. Success has motivated her to keep practicing and striving to be even better. She no longer hates school and has started to read for her own enjoyment. She does not hesitate to read out loud and generally is less anxious about her academics. Most importantly, she is a happier person that looks forward to learning. I am incredibly proud of her. This is such an incredible lesson in perseverance that will stick with her for the rest of her life.